But it didn't always seem like we'd even finish Day 1. Perhaps the red flags should have been heeded when the Guide recommended that I wear my Rock & Republic jeans on the very serious hike UP KILIMANJARO. Or when we were going through my gear and the packing checklist and he mistook my padded bra for a knee brace.
But hindsight is always 20/20.
When we stopped at the Kilimanjaro National Park registration, Sean stood in the Porter lineup hoping to get hired on as a Porter as an extra gig (in addition to his current 3 IT jobs that have earned him the nickname of "the Jay-Z of IT"). Unfortunately there were only 22 Porter spots available to carry the camping equipment and supplies for the trio of us, and Sean just didn't make the cut.
We proceeded to the Lemosho Route trailhead in good spirits, and with good spirits, specifically Konyagi, the local liquor that our Guide recommended, urged us to supersize, and generously offered to "carry" for us in his backpack.
At 3:15pm, we finished a quick lunch and said good-bye to our Assistant Guide, Busta (yes, as in Rhymes), and started up the steep hike sure footed. By 3:30pm, our Guide had slipped and fallen down or over 2 times. By 3:45, that number was closer to 6. By 3:50, Sean was carrying his 44lb backpack. Sean had not only realized his dream of becoming Porter, but had also been promoted to Guide by proxy.
Since it was only the 4 of us together, we tried to keep this hot mess of a guide under wraps and it was easy when no one was around.
But before we knew it, we were overtaking other groups and porters on the trail. Passing these groups while our guide stumbled and cursed like a sailor quickly resulted in the trail ablaze in gossip.
The whispers were obvious whether they were in Swahili or English. Kimberly tried to lighten the mood by making small talk and asking "gimme" questions about the flora and fauna. Favorite quote - Kimberly asking, "Are those bees making that really loud buzzing sound?" The Guide's slurred response, "I dunno."
We were basically alone in the forest with a smashed guide who had in the course of the hike: lost a shoe, narrowly avoided rolling down hills, fell into numerous thorny bushes, held Kimberly's hand and told her he loved her, and shot me glances to seem to indicate that he had just swallowed his own vomit.
The Guide had also developed Tourette-like symptoms by cursing, grunting and insisting how tired he was but refusing to sit down or drink any water.
A little bit less than 2 hours into the hike, I asked him if we were almost halfway there (based on the 4 hour hike duration). He slurred that we were almost at camp. Of course he had zero credibility and I was just talking to him to keep him from going unconscious. He then asked Sean if both Kimberly and I were his girlfriends, so we took his estimate with a grain of salt.
Four minutes later (after Sean insisted that we were both indeed his girlfriends), we arrived at camp. Hot on our heels was our soaking wet Assistant Guide, Busta.
Busta was dripping sweat and asked us if we had run the trail, or taken a helicopter. Busta had lagged behind to clean up lunch figuring we were in good hands with our Guide who has summited Kilimanjaro over 110 times. But then Busta started hearing rumors that something was amiss, so he increased his pace trying to catch up with us. As he encountered the groups and Porters we had passed, the rumors intensified with accounts of increasing debauchery by our Guide.
Busta took over Sean's role of Guide and expressed wonder that we had completed the trail in record time, especially with a blacked out guide. We had even beat some of our Porters. Guess he underestimated the trio of consultants from Colorado(one of whom was hiking in Rock and Republic jeans).
Feeling confident that we are now in good hands with Busta, we wrote this while snuggling in the tent pondering if our guide will even recall the Day 1 hike, or even have a job in the morning.
(since we are on a mountain and miraculously have connectivity to post this blog content, the pictures will have to wait until after we summit.)
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